why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I AM VODKA MAN
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
