I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
