it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
