it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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