i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
