i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
