Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
