The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
