Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
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Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
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I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
tell me about the fingering
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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