wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
