As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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