She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
