There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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