I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
