If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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