well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you never un-have a 4some
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize