OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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