He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
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My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
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i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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