craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
