i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
