You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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