I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
