brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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