I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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