She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
