It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
