My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
