I want to have your abortion
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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