I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize