and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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