Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
