Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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