Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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