I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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