her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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