Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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