I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
