would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
