Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
