it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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