her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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