That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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