you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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