I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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