Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
