I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
