Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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