he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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