and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
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So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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