: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
