I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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