i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
