we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
