hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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