you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
