I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
