Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
