Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Pooping to opera.
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