He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize