She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i've created a new STD.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
