HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
