so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
