Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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